1. |
Aquaphobia
02:56
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Well you know I can’t be ‘round rivers now darling
All I do’s think of you pulling me under
And I can’t go ‘round oceans and lakes too
Makes me wanna go out blowing bubbles for good
You know I used to love to swim and fish
Then you went and ruined it when you left
I can’t go ‘round the water no more
And I know it was warm when you told me you’d go
Didn’t even stay the night I watched the fish jump
Now it’s so cold the lake is iced over
Think I’ll cut a whole and tie my feet and jump in
You know I used to love to swim and fish
Then you went and ruined it when you left
I can’t go ‘round the water no more
Now I know it was low tide oh you looked so fine
Salt on my fingertips your lips were on mine
Now the tide’s back in bags you’re a packin’
Think I’ll lie and wait for all the waves to wash in
You know I used to love to swim and fish
Then you went and ruined it when you left
I can’t go round the water no more
So if you wanna find me you know where I’ll be
Sitting by the river side going down four times
Only coming up three don’t you dare stop me
Watch the bubbles surface say my name before I’m gone
You know I used to love to swim and fish
Then you went and ruined it when you left
I can’t go round the water no more
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2. |
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Gold mine nothing but coal
Dust it off and rub it on the side of your coat
All mine nothing’s back home
Shrug it off and thumb it on the side of the road
Gold mine nothing was told
Long before you left you had your eyes on the road
Dog died tied to a rope
Pray to God that truck’ll start the engine was cold
Left the dog tied up outside
found the rope wrapped tight ‘round his neck
A friend ‘til the end and then Nineball kicks down your door
From behind a shotgun he says
“Love lost is like spittin’ gravel up
Grab the gun attaboy make ‘em run down
to the gold mine and throw em’ away”
Oh that’s what he say
Wrist wrapped in plaster cast
You rattletrap bastard pull out the choke
Ain’t she sound good and then Nineball blasts out your back window
Glass shatters he shouts
You run from the gun
“Gonna find when tomorrow comes living ain’t much different from—”
but he coughs as the diesel gets sucked down them lungs
Oh that’s what he does
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3. |
The Tiger Song
03:18
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Wake up in the morning ‘bout half past six
Knocking at the door you gonna let me in
I’m Tiger I’m Tiger I’m hungry you’re tired
Crush a little pill with the fancy feast
Mix it with the water give me something to eat
I’m Tiger I’m Tiger I’ve got a hyperthyroid
Well the doctor says I got crystals in my urine
I don’t think that’s much of her concern
‘Bout as damn healthy as a cat can be
I like to eat just as much as I like to sleep
And I know one day I’ll lay me down
I’m climbing on the counter what you think about that
Waiting by the cupboard gonna catch me a rat
I’m Tiger I’m Tiger I’m a hunter not a fighter
Now I’m pawing at the door you better let me out
Waiting by the window gonna catch me a mouse
I’m Tiger I’m Tiger half wild half insider
I like to go outside and pee in the garden
If you squeeze my tummy you can hear me fart
‘Bout as damn healthy as a cat can get
I know the whole neighborhood like the back of my hand
And I know one day I’ll lay me down
Now my teeth are falling out and they smell real bad
You can never find me when it’s time for a bath
I’m Tiger I’m Tiger I’m a talker not a biter
Splish splish splash goes the water in the sink
Soap on my nose gotta wash out the stink
I’m Tiger I’m Tiger I’m getting older but not wiser
I sleep in a box on the radiator
If you scratch my ears you can hear me purr
‘Bout as damn healthy any cat you’ll find
Ignore the smell just pay it no mind
I know one day I’ll lay me down
I wanna die in a tuna fish can
Nobody knows how old I am
I’m Tiger I’m Tiger you only fed me once I ain’t a liar
And I imagine heaven as a vacant lot
I’ve been a pretty good cat I hope they save me a spot
I’m Tiger I’m Tiger don’t wanna burn in eternal fire
But when I die know Max’ll turn me
to a mount on the wall with taxidermy
Damn healthy cat but I’ll die one day
With no regrets cuz I did it my way
And I know one day I’ll lay me down
And then you’ll have no cat around
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4. |
Ramsey Sports & Outdoors
03:25
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I got a rope I trust
It can hold our weight I know it
So tie up the knot my love
On the old rope I trust
I got a dog I don’t
He sleeps in shadows with the shades wide open
I know he don’t talk too much
But love ain’t the same thing as trust
Up through the rabbit hole the rabbit runs around the tree
Back down the hole again just enough so I can breathe
Listen up my buttercup you and I were meant to be
If we make it out alive I’ll have your hand I promise thee
But don’t you go and cut that rope now honey
I’ll be seeing you before too long
I oughtta know my luck
I ran the river ‘til the river done dried up
And all on a blind man’s bluff
There’s mud in my eye my love
But I know a guy who runs
He said he’ll split the vig a two point bonus
I sold everything I love
It’s funny how fear can make you trust
Up through the rabbit hole the rabbit runs around the tree
Back down the hole again just enough so I can breathe
Listen up my buttercup you and I were meant to be
If we make it out alive I’ll have your hand I promise thee
But don’t you go and cut that rope now honey
I’ll be seeing you before too long
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5. |
The Health Care Song
03:14
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I don’t need no doctor man
To tell me what I know
I drink too much and smoke too much
Now I’m on my own
I don’t need no dentist man
Half my teeth are gold
You tell ‘em when they dig my grave
Leave my mouth alone
I’m just a sick old man without a plan
But still living without any doubt
When I was young I’d run amok
Now my luck’s running out
You can’t fix me now
I don’t need no prostate check
That’s a private zone
You tell them doctor’s what I said
They can leave my ass alone
And I don’t need to heart transplant
I’ll go when I go
If my blood box stops to pump
I won’t let nobody know
I’m just a sick old man without a plan
But still living without any doubt
When I was young I’d run amok
Now my luck’s running out
You can’t fix me now
But I’ll go out with a smoke on my lips
No prescriptions only whiskey
I don’t mind dying I do mind paying
What I’m saying is you can’t fix this
Sick old man without a plan
But still living without any doubts
When I was young you know I’d run amok
Now my luck’s running out
The doc will see you now
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6. |
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Oh I wish I could spend every day with you
Share a jug of wine or two
Let our feet wash out in the purple sand
Oh that’s what I wish
Oh I wish I could watch every river with you
Following the ducks as they move
A kiss finds a landing on my cheek
Now ain’t that something sweet
Fishing by the lake or sleeping under the trees
Climbing up a mountain or just shooting the breeze
I wish I could write a song for every little moment that I’d had with you
What’ll I do?
Oh I wish I could share every meal with you
At the fish house by the ocean blue
Where the oysters are sweet and the beer is cheap
and the dessert is free
And I know you love me like I never knew
So I wrote this little tune for you
To whistle whenever you’re feeling blue
Here’s to a happy two
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7. |
Splinter
03:14
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I got a splinter
I wonder how
I wonder how
deep it goes
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8. |
Aquaphobia (Reprise)
01:24
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9. |
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You can knock on my door
Half of what it’s there for
If I’m not at home then write me up a note
If I’m just asleep underneath the mat’s a key
You can come inside find the dog he’s resting at my feet
I patched the hole on the wall
It’s a different color that’s all
I fixed the light out on the back porch just in case you call
The dog misses you maybe I do too
Take your time stop on by when your passing through
You ran from the known
Saw dust in your bones
Sawdust on my clothes
Makes this house a home
You can knock on my door
No one knocks here no more
Since you left our home I ain’t opened up your note
It’s lying there unread on the table by the bed
I close my eyes to pass the time and you’re dancing ‘round my head
Don’t mind the sunrise
I’ll be gone before you rise
Dear love once was
You know and I know it’s too much fuss to go and work things out
Don’t want to work things out
Go on and clean the floors
Go on and fix that door
You got work for now but when the work runs out
and everything is fixed
Well you won’t have shit
I won’t miss that mangy mutt
Just slobbing and sleeping around caked in mud
This all was good once
But if it smells like shit it’s shit I do trust
And when you read this here
Know that I’m far from here
On some dusty road
You know I’m not that old
Knowing what I know I could die alone
I’m never coming back
I only promise you that
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10. |
Take a Look at My Walls
04:12
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Take a look at my walls
I got a picture of me and my kids
Not one poster at all
Just the picture to remind me of them
Take look at this book
Would you believe that my husband wrote it
He never wrote much at all
and when he did he never let me read it
Take a look at my walls
I built them myself
Take a look at my walls
I got a painting by one of my daughters
There’s a house on the sea
Waves roll beneath the open doorway
Take a look at my lunch
Tuna salad and a jello fruit cup
I know that it’s not much
but you can have some if you want to
Take a look at my walls
I built them myself
Take a look at my walls
I got a clock with twelve birds on it
There’s a blue jay that calls
He lets me know time is slipping forward
Take a look at my hands
I can keep them steady if I focus
It’s no trouble at all
Come on and give me something I can hold it
Take a look at my walls
I built them myself
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11. |
The Frog Song
06:37
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I was walking through the forest just a bit down on my luck
My smokes had fallen through the hole in my pocket
and the bossman he laid me off last week
When I seen something hopping right by a tree
What could it be?
I found an old frog I found an old frog
Sitting on a log I found an old frog
He hopped up the tree quite gracefully he said Mister do you have a lighter for me?
I said Mister Frog now I got a light but I lost my smokes and would you mind
if I take a toke of whatever you go what are you smoking tobacco or pot?
The frog said I don’t smoke no cigarettes it gives me the hiccups and a heavy chest
and I don’t smoke no reefer too this right here’s just a little bit of K2
So me and the frog well we lit it up and then we huffed and puffed until we coughed up blood
and then we huffed and puffed and we huffed some more
Rolling ‘round laughing on the forest floor
Well I found an old frog I found an old frog
Lying on the log with the old frog
I said Mister Frog a penny for your thoughts
He said 9/11 was a government plot
I said Mister Frog now I don’t agree this is the land of the brave and the home of the free
Now I’m not a huge fan of Uncle Sam but I can’t believe he’d attack his own land
So the frog he borrowed by iPhone and pulled up a picture of an army drone
doing loopty loops around Ground Zero I said
Mister Frog that’s just a UFO he said
What’s it doing on that day at that time in that place I said
Mister Frog I think you smoked too much he said
Aw shit we’re just getting started
I found an old frog I found an old frog
I used to have a job now I got a frog
I found an old frog I found an old frog
doing funny drugs with the old frog
So the frog he hopped up in my hand he said
Lick my back taste my glands
So I licked him twice and then I started to see the forest turn into a old prairie
With golden fields and silver skies purple clouds above my eyes
but the soil beneath my feet was tar my shoes got stuck I couldn’t walk too far
and then all ‘round me started to rise oil derricks for miles and miles
Helicopters patrolled the skies I seen a barbed wire fence ‘bout fifty feet high
I seen a passenger pigeon flying by I spit on the ground and he shit in my eye I said
Mister Frog you gotta make this stop he said
Lick my ass kiss my hocks
So I licked him twice and then the forest returned
The frog asked me what have you learned
I said Mister Frog now I’ve seen the past the present the future and I know at last
Mister Gas Company controls what I see and he’s in bed with Lady Liberty
So let’s kick back their sheets and go do something about it
Ride around town in a truck and we’ll shout it
We can tell the folks the truth and we’ll do it our way
Well Mister Frog what do you say?
But the frog was real quiet he just pointed to the skies
Pointed at a drone about fifty feet high flying low and slow right above the tree line
The frog tossed me back my phone he shouted
HEY UP THERE THAT’S HIS IT AIN’T MINE
You see now Uncle Sam he didn’t think it too clever that my search said
Building Seven so the drone scooped me up to Guantanamo Bay
That’s where I’m now and that’s where I’ll stay
Now I hope you all enjoyed this little tale of mine
and I hope you learned something if you didn’t it’s fine
but if there is one lesson you can find in this song
Never take no drugs from any fucking frog
I found an old frog I found an old frog
I used to have a job now I got a frog
I found an old frog I found an old frog
Man I wish I never found that motherfucking frog
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12. |
Nothing Like This Before
04:23
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I fell off the wall and scalped my knee wide open you could see the white cap
Momma put a dish rag on it and she mopped the blood up
The doctor said I’ll give you forty stitches
Scalpel forceps hold on nurse I need a minute cuz
I ain’t seen no knee like this before
I ain’t seen no knee like this before
Momma what you feeding this old boy?
I ain’t seen no knee like this
I went out that door around ten thousand feet up off the ground and
I watched that plane go on without me I was falling when I saw two
eagles circle ‘round me I knew I was a goner
but one of them he grabbed me in his talons and said to the other now
I ain’t seen no bird like this before
I ain’t seen no bird like this before
Mister what’d you get your wings clipped for?
I ain’t seen no bird like this
I walked in the room and saw my mother lying there
She had white hair mouth ajar her eyes were empty and I
wiped the drool off her chin and asked if she could recognize me
She turned to me her eyes filled up she started crying out
I ain’t seen no one like this before
I ain’t seen no one like this before
Don’t you think that I would know my own boy?
I ain’t seen no one like this
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