Well you know I can’t be ‘round rivers now darling All I do’s think of you pulling me under And I can’t go ‘round oceans and lakes too Makes me wanna go out blowing bubbles for good You know I used to love to swim and fish Then you went and ruined it when you left I can’t go ‘round the water no more And I know it was warm when you told me you’d go Didn’t even stay the night I watched the fish jump Now it’s so cold the lake is iced over Think I’ll cut a whole and tie my feet and jump in You know I used to love to swim and fish Then you went and ruined it when you left I can’t go ‘round the water no more Now I know it was low tide oh you looked so fine Salt on my fingertips your lips were on mine Now the tide’s back in bags you’re a packin’ Think I’ll lie and wait for all the waves to wash in You know I used to love to swim and fish Then you went and ruined it when you left I can’t go round the water no more So if you wanna find me you know where I’ll be Sitting by the river side going down four times Only coming up three don’t you dare stop me Watch the bubbles surface say my name before I’m gone You know I used to love to swim and fish Then you went and ruined it when you left I can’t go round the water no more

Gold mine nothing but coal Dust it off and rub it on the side of your coat All mine nothing’s back home Shrug it off and thumb it on the side of the road Gold mine nothing was told Long before you left you had your eyes on the road Dog died tied to a rope Pray to God that truck’ll start the engine was cold Left the dog tied up outside found the rope wrapped tight ‘round his neck A friend ‘til the end and then Nineball kicks down your door From behind a shotgun he says “Love lost is like spittin’ gravel up Grab the gun attaboy make ‘em run down to the gold mine and throw em’ away” Oh that’s what he say Wrist wrapped in plaster cast You rattletrap bastard pull out the choke Ain’t she sound good and then Nineball blasts out your back window Glass shatters he shouts You run from the gun “Gonna find when tomorrow comes living ain’t much different from—” but he coughs as the diesel gets sucked down them lungs Oh that’s what he does

Wake up in the morning ‘bout half past six Knocking at the door you gonna let me in I’m Tiger I’m Tiger I’m hungry you’re tired Crush a little pill with the fancy feast Mix it with the water give me something to eat I’m Tiger I’m Tiger I’ve got a hyperthyroid Well the doctor says I got crystals in my urine I don’t think that’s much of her concern ‘Bout as damn healthy as a cat can be I like to eat just as much as I like to sleep And I know one day I’ll lay me down I’m climbing on the counter what you think about that Waiting by the cupboard gonna catch me a rat I’m Tiger I’m Tiger I’m a hunter not a fighter Now I’m pawing at the door you better let me out Waiting by the window gonna catch me a mouse I’m Tiger I’m Tiger half wild half insider I like to go outside and pee in the garden If you squeeze my tummy you can hear me fart ‘Bout as damn healthy as a cat can get I know the whole neighborhood like the back of my hand And I know one day I’ll lay me down Now my teeth are falling out and they smell real bad You can never find me when it’s time for a bath I’m Tiger I’m Tiger I’m a talker not a biter Splish splish splash goes the water in the sink Soap on my nose gotta wash out the stink I’m Tiger I’m Tiger I’m getting older but not wiser I sleep in a box on the radiator If you scratch my ears you can hear me purr ‘Bout as damn healthy any cat you’ll find Ignore the smell just pay it no mind I know one day I’ll lay me down I wanna die in a tuna fish can Nobody knows how old I am I’m Tiger I’m Tiger you only fed me once I ain’t a liar And I imagine heaven as a vacant lot I’ve been a pretty good cat I hope they save me a spot I’m Tiger I’m Tiger don’t wanna burn in eternal fire But when I die know Max’ll turn me to a mount on the wall with taxidermy Damn healthy cat but I’ll die one day With no regrets cuz I did it my way And I know one day I’ll lay me down And then you’ll have no cat around

I got a rope I trust It can hold our weight I know it So tie up the knot my love On the old rope I trust I got a dog I don’t He sleeps in shadows with the shades wide open I know he don’t talk too much But love ain’t the same thing as trust Up through the rabbit hole the rabbit runs around the tree Back down the hole again just enough so I can breathe Listen up my buttercup you and I were meant to be If we make it out alive I’ll have your hand I promise thee But don’t you go and cut that rope now honey I’ll be seeing you before too long I oughtta know my luck I ran the river ‘til the river done dried up And all on a blind man’s bluff There’s mud in my eye my love But I know a guy who runs He said he’ll split the vig a two point bonus I sold everything I love It’s funny how fear can make you trust Up through the rabbit hole the rabbit runs around the tree Back down the hole again just enough so I can breathe Listen up my buttercup you and I were meant to be If we make it out alive I’ll have your hand I promise thee But don’t you go and cut that rope now honey I’ll be seeing you before too long

I don’t need no doctor man To tell me what I know I drink too much and smoke too much Now I’m on my own I don’t need no dentist man Half my teeth are gold You tell ‘em when they dig my grave Leave my mouth alone I’m just a sick old man without a plan But still living without any doubt When I was young I’d run amok Now my luck’s running out You can’t fix me now I don’t need no prostate check That’s a private zone You tell them doctor’s what I said They can leave my ass alone And I don’t need to heart transplant I’ll go when I go If my blood box stops to pump I won’t let nobody know I’m just a sick old man without a plan But still living without any doubt When I was young I’d run amok Now my luck’s running out You can’t fix me now But I’ll go out with a smoke on my lips No prescriptions only whiskey I don’t mind dying I do mind paying What I’m saying is you can’t fix this Sick old man without a plan But still living without any doubts When I was young you know I’d run amok Now my luck’s running out The doc will see you now

Oh I wish I could spend every day with you Share a jug of wine or two Let our feet wash out in the purple sand Oh that’s what I wish Oh I wish I could watch every river with you Following the ducks as they move A kiss finds a landing on my cheek Now ain’t that something sweet Fishing by the lake or sleeping under the trees Climbing up a mountain or just shooting the breeze I wish I could write a song for every little moment that I’d had with you What’ll I do? Oh I wish I could share every meal with you At the fish house by the ocean blue Where the oysters are sweet and the beer is cheap and the dessert is free And I know you love me like I never knew So I wrote this little tune for you To whistle whenever you’re feeling blue Here’s to a happy two

I got a splinter I wonder how I wonder how deep it goes

You can knock on my door Half of what it’s there for If I’m not at home then write me up a note If I’m just asleep underneath the mat’s a key You can come inside find the dog he’s resting at my feet I patched the hole on the wall It’s a different color that’s all I fixed the light out on the back porch just in case you call The dog misses you maybe I do too Take your time stop on by when your passing through You ran from the known Saw dust in your bones Sawdust on my clothes Makes this house a home You can knock on my door No one knocks here no more Since you left our home I ain’t opened up your note It’s lying there unread on the table by the bed I close my eyes to pass the time and you’re dancing ‘round my head Don’t mind the sunrise I’ll be gone before you rise Dear love once was You know and I know it’s too much fuss to go and work things out Don’t want to work things out Go on and clean the floors Go on and fix that door You got work for now but when the work runs out and everything is fixed Well you won’t have shit I won’t miss that mangy mutt Just slobbing and sleeping around caked in mud This all was good once But if it smells like shit it’s shit I do trust And when you read this here Know that I’m far from here On some dusty road You know I’m not that old Knowing what I know I could die alone I’m never coming back I only promise you that

Take a look at my walls I got a picture of me and my kids Not one poster at all Just the picture to remind me of them Take look at this book Would you believe that my husband wrote it He never wrote much at all and when he did he never let me read it Take a look at my walls I built them myself Take a look at my walls I got a painting by one of my daughters There’s a house on the sea Waves roll beneath the open doorway Take a look at my lunch Tuna salad and a jello fruit cup I know that it’s not much but you can have some if you want to Take a look at my walls I built them myself Take a look at my walls I got a clock with twelve birds on it There’s a blue jay that calls He lets me know time is slipping forward Take a look at my hands I can keep them steady if I focus It’s no trouble at all Come on and give me something I can hold it Take a look at my walls I built them myself

I was walking through the forest just a bit down on my luck My smokes had fallen through the hole in my pocket and the bossman he laid me off last week When I seen something hopping right by a tree What could it be? I found an old frog I found an old frog Sitting on a log I found an old frog He hopped up the tree quite gracefully he said Mister do you have a lighter for me? I said Mister Frog now I got a light but I lost my smokes and would you mind if I take a toke of whatever you go what are you smoking tobacco or pot? The frog said I don’t smoke no cigarettes it gives me the hiccups and a heavy chest and I don’t smoke no reefer too this right here’s just a little bit of K2 So me and the frog well we lit it up and then we huffed and puffed until we coughed up blood and then we huffed and puffed and we huffed some more Rolling ‘round laughing on the forest floor Well I found an old frog I found an old frog Lying on the log with the old frog I said Mister Frog a penny for your thoughts He said 9/11 was a government plot I said Mister Frog now I don’t agree this is the land of the brave and the home of the free Now I’m not a huge fan of Uncle Sam but I can’t believe he’d attack his own land So the frog he borrowed by iPhone and pulled up a picture of an army drone doing loopty loops around Ground Zero I said Mister Frog that’s just a UFO he said What’s it doing on that day at that time in that place I said Mister Frog I think you smoked too much he said Aw shit we’re just getting started I found an old frog I found an old frog I used to have a job now I got a frog I found an old frog I found an old frog doing funny drugs with the old frog So the frog he hopped up in my hand he said Lick my back taste my glands So I licked him twice and then I started to see the forest turn into a old prairie With golden fields and silver skies purple clouds above my eyes but the soil beneath my feet was tar my shoes got stuck I couldn’t walk too far and then all ‘round me started to rise oil derricks for miles and miles Helicopters patrolled the skies I seen a barbed wire fence ‘bout fifty feet high I seen a passenger pigeon flying by I spit on the ground and he shit in my eye I said Mister Frog you gotta make this stop he said Lick my ass kiss my hocks So I licked him twice and then the forest returned The frog asked me what have you learned I said Mister Frog now I’ve seen the past the present the future and I know at last Mister Gas Company controls what I see and he’s in bed with Lady Liberty So let’s kick back their sheets and go do something about it Ride around town in a truck and we’ll shout it We can tell the folks the truth and we’ll do it our way Well Mister Frog what do you say? But the frog was real quiet he just pointed to the skies Pointed at a drone about fifty feet high flying low and slow right above the tree line The frog tossed me back my phone he shouted HEY UP THERE THAT’S HIS IT AIN’T MINE You see now Uncle Sam he didn’t think it too clever that my search said Building Seven so the drone scooped me up to Guantanamo Bay That’s where I’m now and that’s where I’ll stay Now I hope you all enjoyed this little tale of mine and I hope you learned something if you didn’t it’s fine but if there is one lesson you can find in this song Never take no drugs from any fucking frog I found an old frog I found an old frog I used to have a job now I got a frog I found an old frog I found an old frog Man I wish I never found that motherfucking frog

I fell off the wall and scalped my knee wide open you could see the white cap Momma put a dish rag on it and she mopped the blood up The doctor said I’ll give you forty stitches Scalpel forceps hold on nurse I need a minute cuz I ain’t seen no knee like this before I ain’t seen no knee like this before Momma what you feeding this old boy? I ain’t seen no knee like this I went out that door around ten thousand feet up off the ground and I watched that plane go on without me I was falling when I saw two eagles circle ‘round me I knew I was a goner but one of them he grabbed me in his talons and said to the other now I ain’t seen no bird like this before I ain’t seen no bird like this before Mister what’d you get your wings clipped for? I ain’t seen no bird like this I walked in the room and saw my mother lying there She had white hair mouth ajar her eyes were empty and I wiped the drool off her chin and asked if she could recognize me She turned to me her eyes filled up she started crying out I ain’t seen no one like this before I ain’t seen no one like this before Don’t you think that I would know my own boy? I ain’t seen no one like this